PSSST, Hey, FB Friends…We Need To Talk

Pretend I’m saying this as loud as I can: Quit putting UCI race results in your Status Updates!

Look, I am addicted to Facebook, too. I love keeping up with my friends and seeing what they are up to every single minute of every single day. Without Facebook I would not know that my friends hate Monday’s, but love Friday’s; hate the work week, but love the weekend; are tired of their kids; but adore their kids; are sick, are well, are eating lunch, are eating dinner, are brushing their teeth, are stuck in traffic, are at the dentist, the bank, or OBGYN. Seriously, how did I ever survive not knowing that if Jen was a cereal, she’d be Frosted Flakes?

But, back to the issue at hand . There is a wonderful piece of technology called a “DVR.” Some people even have one called a “Tivo.” The purpose of the device is to record a television show in case you can’t catch it in real time. You can even pause the show to use the restroom or fast forward through the commercials. I dare say, I love my Tivo even more than I love Facebook.

I can’t avoid your status update. I want to know what you’re up to – I don’t want to know the outcome of a race that I haven’t had a chance to watch yet. Each race only comes once a year and when it’s spoiled, it’s spoiled. I waited 12 months for Paris-Roubaix, my favorite race of the season, only to open Facebook on Monday morning after the race and have the result staring me in the eyes as someone’s status update. Ruined.

I should mention that this applies to posting links and Facebook pages and notes, as well.

Let’s try to get this little issue worked out before the Tour de France, okay? Cuz, I can’t watch everything in real time – I have a job. I know I’m not the only one who finds this frustrating. Stop this practice immediately.

I will begin un-friending the culprits effective today. How do you like that? How will you survive not knowing which Grateful Dead song I would be if I were, in fact, a Grateful Dead song? You've been warned.